Emotions used to be something I thought would just happen, not something controllable. I’d say about 5th grade I had a best friend who was named Laveena. She had no idea she would change my life for the better. We used to go to the playground, talk in class, play Harry Potter after school, and make music in orchestra together. One day in class she told me she hated me. I knew she didn’t have any legitimate reason to say this, but back in my 5th grade mentality I decided to tell her the same. When I did I felt horrible, especially since I knew we were still good friends; shortly after she moved across the country.
Years passed by in school, but I’ll never forget the regret that lived on in my heart. Every year in school it seemed like they had exercises to relieve you. The kind where you write a note about something you regret in life on a string, before tying it to a balloon and watching it fly away. You were always supposed to feel your burdens be lifted away as the helium takes it higher, until it disappears into the sun. I never felt that, no matter how many times I tried.
Time went on; it became clear that the symbolism would never help. It had to be real. Laveena contacted me on a social networking site, where we proceeded to talk for hours catching up on how our lives had changed. It had been over five years since we had last spoken, but I decided I needed to tell her how I had felt. My apology went on for longer than needed, but it was important to me. She cut me off when I told her why I was so sorry. Her memory failed to recall this fight of ours, but mine didn’t. I could finally move on, I could feel my balloons floating away.
Ever since that day in 5th grade, my life moments have been filled with optimism and two daily decisions. The first daily decision I have is to never hate. Hate has never shown this world one positive thing, how could it? It’s not designed to be positive. The second daily decision I make is to be optimistic and make the most of every day. You want everyone to always remember you as the best person you can be. Whether it’s as a good friend, a fast learner, or a reliable employee you must strive for the positive things. You are only faced with two options where the path gets wider and wider until you have to decide which you will follow, one of optimism or one of pessimism. My optimism carries me through every day and helps me make my daily decisions. Only you can decide for yourself what to do with your choices. I believe in emotions.
This post was originally posted on NPR’s This I Believe website. Mr. Harm, my honor’s English teacher, encouraged me to submit my story and it happened to be accepted when I was a Junior.
https://thisibelieve.org/essay/80822
